We have been deceived for a long time that there is something known as true love. How true is love? Does love actually exists unconditionally? I am of the opinion that love is conditional. It entails certain conditions that are subjected to the people involved. We are not robots for heaven’s sake so how can we love people unconditionally. Man has an egotistical that controls his choices and decisions. Love is a form of emotions and it is somewhat a form of desire. When we look intrinsically into the nature of human desires, we will understand that all human desires are often times egoistical and conditional. I will try to use some empirical evidences and positions to prove that love is conditional. I will also attempt to discuss the types of love amongst human, the love preached by the religion of love (Christianity) and why they are all conditional. Be ready for a good ride.
First and foremost, we consider love portrayed by parents to their children to be unconditional especially that of a mother towards her child or children. Though, this assertion is somewhat true but not objectively true. This claim has been proven to be invalid in certain cases. As people, we as a whole have a size of inclinations that directs our day to day living. No parent(s) can love all their child or ward unconditional and to the same extent. Conditions that frequently decide the adoration for parents towards their kids incorporate gender, likeness, prospect to progress, closeness to guardians which includes the sort of relationship that exists between them, physical and organic attributes, and the quantity of children. It is not a new thing to know that parents with one child will eventually and most certainly love that one child dearly compared to a parent with more than a child. It very rear and in exceptional cases that parents will love all their children unconditionally. Think with me in the event that you would be able to, to be brought into the world of a parent is the principal condition to partake in the unrestricted love of a parent so on the off chance that you are not brought into the world of that parent, and you can’t partake in the honors or privileges of the possibility of a genuine love. To be conceived is a vital condition to partake in the chance of the adoration for life by a parent.
I want to explain to my dear friend Usman who continues to push me to read and write hard the African proverb “The only woman who loves a poor man is his mother.” Love is an emotion so I don’t think it evolves with man. Love is an innate part of man and only expression is what changes over time. The same euphoria that surrounds love in the traditional culture of man still exists till the present contemporary age. The method of expression will just differ but love is love irrespective of time, culture, age or person. So some conditions that clearly supports that only a poor man’s mother will love him genuinely are: the principle of the conditionality of human love which I coined, the egoistical nature of man that quickly wants the best for oneself first, the ever increasing love for material things amongst women nowadays, the subjective perception of man (beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder) and the eternal between connection of motherhood and the child. A woman would definitely understand her child from a different and an improved point of view that a lady he is infatuated with. The one whom one is birth from will certainly have more love and affection than the one whom one is born for. Though, this position is not always true but it is most likely that a mother love and protect her child more than his wife would protect him. So my friend as you read this, I hope you understand and realize that our mother won’t think it twice to defend you against any external attacks and still certainly continue to put up with our insecurities than your wife or partner. There are more divorce cases than we can think of. Many single parents than we can ever imagine and there are several broken relationship due to financial security and power. But in this entire crisis, many parents still put up with their child whether he is jobless or financially unstable. I know of a few.
In addition, I am writing this paragraph very importantly to show that even amongst sexual partners of opposite/same sex, love is still conditional. Today, we categorize the conditions of our love under a popular language called “spec”. Everyone has a “spec” which is why they love someone. We all have our reasons and until the reasons are matched, we cannot say for sure that we love someone. This conditions is emotional and a question of decision but it often times have external influence. An increasing number of young ladies will not bother to love a man without financial security. Though, I do not see this human act as wrong or bad. If a woman does not love a man because of money or any other conditions, she should not be forced. Love is a choice and it comes with conditions. No woman is a gold digger for choosing financial stability as one of her necessary conditions. Birds of same feathers ought to flock together. Also, men should not be accused of body shaming or foolishness for choosing to love a woman because of her body. It is a matter of choice so it should be respected. Some people identify themselves as sapio-sexual and we should also respect that. They must be a reason or desire that guides our love. You don’t just love people for loving sake. There must be a reason. Think and reflect upon it critically, would you love your partner if he/she displays certain character(s)? While you engage in thinking, you will realize that love is conditional and true love is a mirage. My dear brother Emmanuel once loved a lady but the lady publicly turned him down because he was “short, ugly, childish and because of the presence of mutual friends”. Is this condition not unnecessary? Few years, I mean just few years down the line, the same old lady is planning different antics to show her love and please him because he is now financially stable. His new feature of financial stability has overshadowed the previous conditions of not loving him. This act is neither right nor wrong as we must respect the lady and her choice but oboy love is conditional. Emmanuel who is of the opinion that “I believe love is conditional 100%. They love what they get not who but WHAT.” He also stated that his love “for her is obviously unconditional but hers to me, I doubt”. But time will tell if the love is conditional and truly true. This supports my analogy that love is emotional and it benefits from human craving.
The 3rd and final aspect of love that I will discuss is the religious love or should I say the love relationship that exists between God and man. Does God truly love us unconditionally judging by religious teachings and the scriptures? I don’t think God loves us unconditionally. The Christian religion holds that God gives us certain rules that we must obey and live by before man can enjoy his goodness and grace. Also, Christ love for us is unconditional. Guardians of the Christian religion hold that Christ loves us unconditionally but it is false. Christ has certain conditions that are attached to his love. First, one must accept him as his lord and personal savior. Failure to accept his lordship automatically disqualifies one to enjoy his grace and love. If Christ loves humanity unconditionally then man should have a choice to accept his lordship or not and still enjoy his unconditional love. It even goes beyond accepting his lordship. One must confess with his mouth and his heart and become changed to enjoy his saving grace. Furthermore, I have been tempted to ask a question about Christ declaration that he is the sole and only way to God and man does not accept his lordship, man will have no access to God. I strongly disagree with that position. No man or religion has a monopoly of access to the creator or God. So you must accept Christ love before you can access God. Is that not conditional love?
I leave you to think and reflect about it. Every form love takes is subjective and whether we socially construct is as true love or not, there is not true about the love. It is a child of our desires and egoistical nature. Have a great day my friend!!!!!! Kindly comment, share and stay tuned to this space. I am open to further discussions in case this raises questions in your mind.